2023 - 2025

Originally started with my first ever portrait project “I feel lost!”, once was meant to tell the story about former students and young people and how they remember their time turning from adolescence to the adult age during the lockdowns where every other generation partied or travelled and lived their first years of “freedom” and slide into the chords of adulthood. But this project should turn time by time more into a completely different topic.
“Let me see you” is my Story about portrait shooting and the spheres how they might change between you, who takes and gives and the person in front, who takes and gives as well just different, about how faces will change within hours, from insecure, shy or hard, into outgoing, loud and soft!

I decided with the beginning of 2026 to put a name on to and finish the project.

Let me see you should give a slight idea, how my vision evolves during and after the process of shootings with super interesting people I’ve met during the last years. Most of the people were part of my trips through several countries and some other I’ve met during my work stays in my home country Germany.

One of them was Eva, at this time a medicine student in Bavaria. The short brief for this shooting were just the topics „I feel lost“ and „There is something left…“. She told me, that she isn’t a professional model, but she loves the idea and staying in front of the camera just for fun, meeting new people and some new images for her socials. So I drove to her city, after some talks and tea on her terrace, the first warm sun of the year on our faces and no clue what we might expect. We gave it a try, loaded with curiosity and energy, to start the session.

During the shooting her expressions went from strong and intense looks into the camera, to a loose, easy and joyful ones, up to even colorful and playful. Which was perfectly done for my project back then. That gave me the motivation looking forward to this portrait project which was never ment to be finished, but converted to this piece of work I absolutely enjoyed to work on.

Carolin a happy and joyful person with deep thoughts. Perhaps more busy to keep up with her plans living and enjoying life for the fullest then everything else. This I appreciate a lot and meanwhile I even consider her as a good friend, who I love to shoot with, because every time we meet there is not just good pictures, at the end of the day, there were talks about absolutely everything and a lot of laughters. Which makes this days counted to the good ones and isn’t that all what is this life about?

This mindset is also visible in her expressions and movements, so the time for melting down the insecurities and doubts in front of the camera, which are absolutely normal for shootings with amateur models, almost inexistent. Her attitude is contagious and a great example that confidence can be shared as well like stories.

It reminds me on what Sebastiao Salgado used to say:

„I tell a little bit of my life to them, and the tell a little of theirs to me. The picture itself is just the tip of the iceberg.“

Alina Mustafina, a Kazakh film director, journalist, influencer and as this wouldn’t be already enough, a mother of two, when ever she’s at home. She was probably one of the most interesting characters, I’ve met on my travels during Europe at the Cannes film festival. She was even part of my trip for quite a time and absolutely convinced by the idea, that my stories about my travels should be collected and converted into a movie, there is even a raw cut from a trailer existing, ill probably never show to you.

**Alina Mustafina** © Christoph Rutenkolk

When creativity and facing the own past of family history comes to a person we are talking definitely about Alina and her movie „Gingerbread for her Dad“ which was in full progress when we traveled along. So it’s no wonder that it affected the images, I photographed day for day on our trips, a lot. While im writing this article she’s even at the Berlinale 2026 this February with her movie. Good luck!

When we are already about traveling

In this time after Covid, everyone was telling you about, how they want to travel and find themself, like maybe no other times before. In my opinion talking about traveling is like talking about living in general, what always remains are stories, wonderful stories, exciting stories as well as terrific stories. At the end It doesn’t matter where you live or travel, the essence of it, is what you wanna tell yourself and your closest ones. Was it worth it, to go that far, to spend all the money, to risk that one ride with the scooter instead of a proper taxi, all for money saving reasons, to pass that booked flight because you met amazing new people and want to stay even longer…

I think the answer should be always yes at the end! Thats how we learn. And isn’t it the reason why we should travel and make all that important experience for our own instead of watching day for day others doing it.

Pretty sure, the answer is yes!

Why I write about this is, I was super scared, but I wanted to tell my own stories, about life and even more, I wanted to tell them with my own photography. But what happened before I even started. Was that I asked myself all these questions: Is it worth the money, am I even good enough, am I fooling myself with all that photography thing? Doubts and a lot of them. So, still scared, i started at first in my home country and became more and more confident. I started to use my camera as a kind of shield. A protection against the question what am I doing here. I had a purpose, but what I’ve learned painfully as well, was that. When you put your camera as a shield in front of you it works always both ways. At this time I was sure I have to start and learn during my first Photography tour. From which I’ll tell you another time in another Storie.

I’ve learned what happens when one takes portraits. It could be, that the person in front of the camera shows you his or her most beautiful sides he or she likes the most of them self while looking in the mirror, or don’t even want to get photographed, German street photographers know what im talking about, or they’ll try, to act like in the dozens of other boring modeling jobs before, what ever experience the person made before and think its best. So and there is me now, using my camera as a silly little toy, getting both of us used to this very uncommon situation, that the one takes and the other person, should do what? Give? You might know the answer to this question already, remember it from the first written lines in here. I can’t tell you my secret weapon, because I don’t even know if I have one, im doubting my own skills or talent, call it what you want, more than I can tell. What I CAN tell is, that I love to take pictures, documenting life, that I talk with the Human in front of me, as long as I feel it, receiving their stories, telling my stories, laugh together and im pretty sure, one can count further and further on this. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, do it with passion and love! It’ll help you, countless of times, receiving a better and better result. At the end it's both of you. You are the one, who takes and gives and the person in front of you, gives and takes as well and there it happens, this moment, some would say the „decisive“ one, say what you want. This moment is in any case, key and this is what Ive learned, while doing portraits on my photography travels. You do it for you and the people you’re photographing in the same way, they stand there in front of you. Giving and taking.

I want to end this project with the Photographs of Jogilė Ramoškaitė, a person, I've talked already a lot about, in another article which you’ll find here.

What I haven’t told and haven’t known at this point I met with her is, that it was my last one, to end this project.

What I know as well is, it won’t definitely not my last portrait shooting. It’s with Wildlife Photography my most favorite type of Photography. We all love faces and their expressions, doesn’t matter if animal or human.

**Jogilė Ramoškaitė** © Christoph Rutenkolk

An experience I tried always to avoid, but is so difficult, to not face it, was perfectly put in words in a quote from Bresson:

It seems dangerous to be a portrait artist who does commissions for clients because everyone wants to be flattered, so they pose in such a way that there’s nothing left of truth - Henri Cartier-Bresson

I think that was an idea I pursued with this project, and I also noticed that the more you learn and the more professional you become, the more you try not to waste time or emotions that you can devote to the person in front of the camera, but you should remember that there will always be a mirror in your pictures.

But in the end, what ever it is and will be all about…
I think it could be better, if we don’t take life too serious…
…and never forget that it is a very nice way when its about joy, love and kindness
…and the best of it, its all for free.